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Tell Me It's Real
T.J. Klune
Top 10 Best Quotes
“I don’t think this is working out between us,” I told him. “You and I want different things. It’s not me, it’s you.”
“Float like a butterfly, sting like a unicorn ;)”
“It was as if God himself saw that my intention was to make my outer self match my inner fabulosity and didn't think the world could handle such an explosion of amazingness. So instead of letting me get to the gym where I would have transformed myself into a walking sex god, he created a Dunkin' Donuts out of nothing and then gave them away for free. I didn't make it to the gym. I had a bear claw instead. And a maple bar. And some donut holes. And then some more donut holes.”
“He was hard lines, chiseled flesh, bronzed skin. I was a marshmallow melting in a cup of cocoa.”
“Because sometimes it’s about letting go of what your mind tells you and following what your heart shows you instead. That’s how you know it will always be real.”
“He snorted into his radicchio, which I admired because it was a pretty purple. The radicchio was purple, not his snort. Just in case you got confused there. I don't think it's possible for people to snort colors. We're not unicorns, after all.”
“Sometimes I wonder if you should be on medication," Charlie said. "It can't be healthy to have you thinking all by yourself without some kind of pharmaceutical intervention.”
“You think I gave you crack?" "Maybe." Is there anything about me that screams crack?" He grinned as he swayed. "Your butt crack," he whispered before dissolving into giggles.”
“After all, one does not scream at lesbians in Doc Martens unless one wants to receive a penis kicking.”
“That’s a federal crime,” I told him. “Punishable by three to five years in a minimum-security prison. You’ll get passed around like condiments at a barbeque.” “My hole is already quivering,” he said.”
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Book Keywords:
humor, random-funny, humorous, inspirational, funny-quotes