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A Prisoner Within
J M Northup
Top 10 Best Quotes
“I felt ancient and exhausted. I felt like a prisoner within myself and as if I was just watching a movie that was playing before my eyes. I just wanted all of it to end and disappear; I wanted to disappear.”
“I was surprised hearing my own ragged voice. I sounded so hateful and angry. My voice didn’t resemble any part of what I knew of myself.”
“Perhaps I really was disillusioned; unable to see myself for who, and what, I really was. Maybe I really was an ungrateful wretch who just refused to take responsibility for my own actions. Maybe I was lying to myself because I didn’t want to admit to being a bad person. Maybe…”
“My step-dad’s rendition of events was uncontested even by me and therefore, it became our truth. Truth I’d never be able to prove or change; truth that protected him from suspicion and penalty. Truth that I now knew was a lie.”
“I wouldn’t let the old voices dictate me; I wouldn’t let anyone dictate who I was anymore. I was strong enough to know who I was and I wasn’t going to be beaten down again.”
“There was that part of me that thought if I was already been accused of it and punished for it, then I should just do it. Of course, I didn’t want to be that person. Did I?”
“Sitting there, I wasn’t convinced I’d survive until that day let alone beyond it. I felt the struggle intensifying between my mom and me no matter what I did to try to stop it. I couldn’t imagine a future where she’d just let me walk away from her. As it was, I felt like she was breaking me down a little more each day.”
“As I lay in the late hours of night or perhaps the wee hours of morning, I felt content. I’d been right to keep faith and trust when I had no reason to. I didn’t expect any grand gestures or magical solutions to things, but my hope was fueled.”
“Why did I even try then? Of course, in asking the question, I’d already known the answer; faith. I hoped; I couldn’t help it.”
“She’s erasing me bit by bit and it’s painfully obvious that no one can stop her.”
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Book Keywords:
lie, faith, perspective, version, inspirational, content, hopeless, disconnected, lying, hope, truth, prisoner, doubt