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The Art of Showing Up: How to Be There for Yourself and Your People
Rachel Wilkerson Miller
Top 10 Best Quotes
“Showing up is the act of bearing witness to people’s joy, pain, and true selves; validating their experiences; easing their load; and communicating that they are not alone in this life.”
“you’ll be able to do a lot (if not all!) of the things that truly nourish you once you start giving less attention to the activities and people you don’t actually care about.”
“When I say acceptance, I mean bearing witness to what is true about yourself and your life—even the messy, painful, embarrassing parts—so you can respond to that reality. Acceptance is about being brave enough to look at who you are and not turning away or immediately looking for a fix when you don’t like what you see. It’s not about settling; after all, you may still want to make significant changes that will ultimately make your life better. It’s about grace—offering yourself compassion and mercy, even if you’re not totally convinced you deserve it.”
“When you are firmly rooted, you can fully stand up for others.”
“Answer a single question, in writing, each night before bed: ‘As I look back on today, what did I do that was actually worth my time?”
“that moment, I realized that things are good until they are not, and they are bad until they are not. So often, the bad times happen without any sort of warning. But I found it comforting to remember that the good periods also tend to happen without warning.”
“social media apps allow us “to maintain relationships that would otherwise decay.”10 While most of us tend to think of this as a good thing, it’s actually not. Some of these relationships actually should decay—that’s necessary for us to have the time and space to establish and nurture new ones.”
“When you have a clear sense of what specifically makes you feel good (or bad), you can improve your self-awareness, recognize your true needs, set boundaries, and effectively respond to problems (big and small).”
“When do you feel most creative? When do you feel most social? When do you most want to be alone? Are you spontaneous or do you like to make plans far in advance? What are (at least) three things that energize you? What are (at least) three things that exhaust you? What are three everyday-ish activities or parts of daily your routine that you just love and feel good about? What is your ideal evening activity/nightly routine if you hope to get a good night’s sleep? What are three everyday-ish activities that you hate doing or dread? When you’re going about your day, do you like having background noise? What kind? What activities do you like doing alone? What activities do you prefer to do with other people? How much does your physical appearance matter to you? What effect does your appearance have on your mood? When do you feel most attractive? Least attractive? Your Environment Do you prefer being indoors or outdoors? When do you crave being outside? What makes you want to be inside more? How much does tidiness matter to you? What about cleanliness? Does the answer change if you’re talking about home versus work versus public spaces versus other people’s spaces?”
“What is your preferred mode of transportation? How do you define a “crowd”? Think of a situation in your life where the crowd level felt good and right. What about an instance when a crowd felt stressful or scary? What’s your comfort level with sounds/noises? For example, are you comfortable in a space with loud music playing? Is there a type of noise or sound that you just can’t stand? What, if anything, is likely to make you feel physically unwell? What everyday activities do you prefer to do IRL? Which do you prefer to do virtually or through an app? How comfortable are you with technology? What technology do you rely on? What do you wish you relied on less? Feelings, Emotions, and Relating to Others Do you enjoy chatting with strangers and/or new people? Do you like physical touch? Are you a hugger? How comfortable are you talking about feelings (your own and other people’s)? What topics do you consider too private to discuss with casual friends? What about close friends? How modest would you say you are? Do you consider yourself a serious person? What kinds of jokes/humor/pranks do you like? What kinds piss you off? How sentimental are you? What holidays, anniversaries, or events do you care about the most? How comfortable are you with uncertainty?”
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Book Keywords:
self-help, showing-up, friendship, relationships, care, not-selfish, self-care, self-awareness